Mia Noi
Mia noi (เมียน้อย), literally "minor wife," is the Thai term for a second partner or mistress a married man keeps in a more or less stable arrangement, separate from his official wife. It has had no legal recognition in Thailand since 1935, when the country formally adopted monogamy, but it remains a recognized social reality and, in certain circles, culturally tolerated, especially among men of higher economic standing. It's important to distinguish this concept from the relationships between foreigners and Thai women documented on this site, which are conventional couple relationships and not arrangements of this kind, though the term sometimes comes up in conversations about the family and social dynamics surrounding these couples.
Frequently asked questions
Is mia noi legally recognized in Thailand?
No, Thailand has legally recognized only monogamy since 1935. A mia noi doesn't have the same legal rights as an official wife regarding inheritance or property.
How common is the mia noi arrangement?
It exists and is a known social reality, though it isn't the norm or universally accepted; its actual prevalence is hard to quantify and varies a lot by social class and region.
How does the mia noi concept affect a foreigner dating a Thai woman?
It doesn't directly affect most relationships between foreigners and Thai women, which are conventional couple relationships, but understanding the term helps make sense of certain family and social dynamics in the Thai context.
Stories related to Mia Noi
We shared a room with separate beds and her family wouldn't let me pay for a single meal. My last night, she chose to sleep somewhere else.
After seeing plenty of bar scams in Thailand, a Swedish man was introduced online to a woman from Isaan looking for something serious. Months of daily calls and a visit to her family later, the relationship never quite came together. It wasn't the love story he hoped for, and it wasn't a scam either.
At 60, I flew to a village in Isaan for a wedding that wasn't mine, and for a few hours it felt like it was.
I was 60 when Kop, 37 years younger than me, brought me to her cousin's wedding in a village in Isaan. I met her parents, slept apart from her out of respect for her family's rules, and watched a full traditional Thai wedding, dowry included, feeling for a few hours like part of a family I barely knew.
She suggested I spend some time in Pattaya alone. I didn't know it was a test, and I failed it.
A 54-year-old South African met Noi, 32, near Khao San Road in 2019. She never asked him for money despite her troubles, and the Koh Chang trip was perfect. But one night of drinks in Pattaya without her changed everything, and the pandemic finished it off.
Her mum had always planned for her to move to Germany and run the family business. I showed up two weeks before that was meant to start.
A 25-year-old British English teacher met Nisa in Khon Kaen, a university graduate from Isaan with zero interest in the nightlife scene. Her mum, living in Germany, had other plans for her daughter. This is the story of how he won the family over and decided to stay in Thailand.
I found her dancing in a Soi Cowboy bar. Nine months later our daughter was born in Thailand.
A 31-year-old Romanian recounts how a cheap flight booked on a whim sent him back to Bangkok alone, where he reconnected with Jit at a Soi Cowboy bar. A pregnancy, months of paperwork and a wedding later, they're now a normal family in the UK.